My hand turned me down
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize