Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The best revenge is premature balding
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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