The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
