dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
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