i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize