how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
