At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
