C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
