Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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