If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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