I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
