Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
