She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
