I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
