she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
