Sponge bath it is.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
