In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
