She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So vagazzling was a success
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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