and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
