you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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