I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
