I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
