D3 body, D1 cock
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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