the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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