so that wasnt chicken after all
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
