There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
