I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dicks are not precious.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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