i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
