I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
