I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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