It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
false alarm. still invincible.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize