I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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