I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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