i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
