I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
