Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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