I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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