I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize