Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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