Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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