I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize