He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
