Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I looked at my own cervix.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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