coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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