Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
