Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
