I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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