Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the day after is always just damage control
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
