we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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