Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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