Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize