The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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