i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish they made helmets for livers.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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