i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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