Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
