how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
