so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize