I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
