whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
