im about as happy as oj after his trial
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
