Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Porn is love you can see.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
