I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
