i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
