DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
