Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
