he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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