kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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