we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm sobbing to NWA
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
