I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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