dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
