its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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