I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
