what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
