Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
