Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
