He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
