i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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