I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
